The Joy Activist
2 min readJan 14, 2021

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This should be the only reason behind all your decisions.

Since I was a kid, I always feel pressured to become a “good kid” so that my parents would be proud of me. Growing up, I want to be a “good employee” so that my boss will praise me. Being in a relationship, I tried my best to be the “good partner” so that person would love me back.

I must say I got it all wrong. I should not let any external reason dictate my life. Craving validation is toxic. Wanting to be better to be loved is unsustainable. Yes, wanting to evolve and grow should be the way we live, but it should come from internal factors.

If you want to be loved, learn to love yourself unconditionally, and trust me, one day, the people who love you for who you truly are will show up effortlessly.

One of the best measurements for decision making is the joy ruler.

Do you feel happy and joyful while doing this? A lot of us have forgotten why we are here. We become robots and live in an autopilot mode. We let money measure our success, appearance measures our beauty, and titles measure our power.

Do you want to lose weight because it affects your health condition, or is it because society has shown that you only become attractive if you shred a couple more pounds?

Do you buy something, eat at a certain place, hang out with a particular group of people, pick up specific activities and habits just because you want to be cool and loved by others. You want to belong…

Remember, when you choose to do something, measure it with joy and love. The kind of feeling that comes from inside you makes you feel so stable that you can conquer the world. That you will do it anyway even though you don’t get any money and validation in return.

We forgot that we are here to experience. We are here to play and grow most joyfully.

When we were a kid, the playground seems like the most precious place to our heart. I encourage you to find your playground once again, the place where you laugh until your jaw got tired and time flies away like a flashing light.

If you know where that is, run, my friend. We don’t have much time left. Make every moment counts.

If you don’t know where that is, it’s okay. Deep down in your heart, you have the answer, but it has been long forgotten when you were too busy chasing validation. Be gentle to yourself, touch the conscious awareness inside you, and one day, you will undoubtedly find the map that leads you to your playground.

Love,

The Joy Activist

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