Awareness is the absolute antidote.

I have been on the spiritual journey for quite some time now, and it has been such a fun ride. It’s the curves, the up and down, that make a fun roller coaster. Similarly, my “soul searching” path has many tears, blood, and joy. In the beginning, I was attached to all the surface level techniques such as crystals, rituals, and using multiple methods to bend my reality. That being said, these are not necessarily “useless.” However, I was approaching spirituality with an intensive amount of fear and lack. Hence, there were definitely lots of resistance and clinginess.

I was blinded and thoughts If I keep treating my pains with these medicines, perhaps one day I will be free. I will be the best version of myself. Slowly, I realized I need to go deeper into the darkness and trust that I have all the skills to survive and conquer. Knowing that the essence of all that I’ve been chasing already exists within me. All I need to do is stripping off the layers and the personas I have been carrying with me. Therefore, any practices that come from the external world are just carriers. They probably assist me on the journey, but they are not vital. Remember, a crystal can’t really soothe your soul if you have not done the work from a deeper level. If I have to choose one magical weapon to fight the demon within me, that would be awareness. And I swear I would not have it any other way. You can either suppress your triggers and emotions by buying a million crystals and scatter them around your house, or you can acknowledge the feelings. Look at them as if you were looking at a loved one. Gazing at them like they are blessings because they really are. There is no need to judge. You simply look at them from different angles. Awareness is similar to muscle. The more you practice it, the easier it will get. And soon enough, it will become second nature, and trust me, it is your 7th sense. You were born with awareness.

Let’s go back to when you’re a baby. You were always looking at the world with those curious eyes. Everything seems so colourful and exciting. Even the tiniest creature like ants was a fascinating subject. What happened was you were told to grow up and be practical. Daydreaming seems like a waste of time, they said. But that’s not true. Maybe those beautiful, precious awareness were buried deep down inside you that have been long forgotten. But my dear, they are still there, waiting for you to rediscover.

Shed light on them, even if it means you need to step out of your comfort zone and look at all the things that bring you unbearable pains. Trust me, it seems scary at first, but the most challenging thing is not the journey itself. It’s the making of the decision to walk the path. I encourage you to look at all your thoughts and actions, like watching your favourite movie. You know you are not the characters. You are simply the audient. And for that, you don’t need to buy into all your stories, your thoughts, and your emotions. Instead, you are free. So liberating that you know you can direct your own movie.

Love you always and forever,

TJA